


A Helping Hand

by hannahfanficrobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Help, Honesty, Love, M/M, Support, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7548691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahfanficrobron/pseuds/hannahfanficrobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's been trying to convince Aaron to go to therapy after his ordeal this year. How does it change him when he finally decides to get help? Mentions of self harm, and mild mentions of the Gordon abuse story line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Helping Hand

To most people, it hasn’t made much of a difference. Aaron is still Aaron and even to Robert, it’s hard to detect any changes, even subtle ones. But he knew the therapy was helping him, and wouldn’t say a word against it. In fact, he’d long thought Aaron should have some form of therapy, but his boyfriend had resisted for quite some time. It wasn’t until Aaron came downstairs on the hottest day of the year, dressed in a short sleeved T shirt that Robert really felt like it was having a significant effect. He was in a prickly mood, clearly feeling vulnerable about showing his body off like this, so Robert didn’t make comment.

As Aaron made his breakfast in silence, Robert could only catch glimpses of the deep scar on his forearm when he moved because Robert knew exactly where it was, the shape of it, how the raised skin felt under his lips. For exactly how long he could kiss him there before Aaron twisted away, uncomfortable at the attention. If he hadn’t been so intimately familiar with Aaron’s body, he probably wouldn’t even have noticed it.

Chas drew in a breath, presumably to comment about his change of clothing when Robert caught her eye and shook his head. Luckily she got the point and shut her mouth. 

It had taken several weeks, or months really, for Aaron to agree to see someone. The thing that had made him finally agree was Liv moaning that, yet again, Aaron’s nightmares had woken her in the middle of the night. She was quickly shushed by Chas, and glared at by Robert, but the words had been spoken, the damage had been done. Later that day, Aaron had reluctantly admitted that maybe talking to someone wouldn’t be the end of the world. Robert tried to pretend it didn’t hurt, that he’d listened to Liv over him, but he never mentioned it, the important thing was Aaron was going.

Usually after a therapy session, Aaron was incredibly tense, quick to anger and snapping at anyone who came near him. It hadn’t taken Robert long at all to realise that getting into an fight on days like this was asking for trouble. If all Robert had to do was hold his tongue one day a week to keep Aaron going to his therapy, it was worth it.

Which is why it surprised Robert when, on Tuesday, Aaron came to find him after his session. He’d been in the café for lunch, when Aaron walked in. One look on his face and Robert knew something was badly wrong, so he left the café without another word, onto the street, looking at Aaron almost nervously. 

“What’s wrong?” Aaron didn’t say anything, just drew Robert into a hug. To say he was surprised was a massive understatement. Firstly, Aaron didn’t do affection in public, secondly usually after therapy he didn’t want to be touched, which Robert couldn’t really blame him for, sure that those discussions were painful and uncomfortable at the very least. Aaron buried his face in Robert’s neck, and Robert could feel him breathing him in. “It’s okay,” Robert said, having no idea what had happened, but knowing he had to reassure him. “You’re safe.”

“I’m okay,” Aaron said, lips dangerously close to Robert’s pulse. But neither of them moved other than Robert’s hands soothing his back. Even when Robert saw Chrissie over Aaron’s shoulder, he didn’t stop. He was so far past apologising for caring for Aaron that she barely even registered. Robert didn’t care who saw him with his arms around Aaron any more. Though the smirk on her face made him itch to start sniping at her. Later. She walked away, and Robert pulled back from Aaron when he felt Aaron’s lips starting to kiss him through the material of his shirt. Knowing a distraction technique when he saw one, he backed off.

“Hey, talk to me,” Robert said softly, a hand to his face gently. “What happened?”

“Can we walk?” Aaron asked, not sure he was able to cope with the demand in Robert’s eyes. He wanted to talk to Robert, but he had an intensity about him that didn’t always make it easy. Robert nodded and they walked slowly down the street.

“We were talking today,” Aaron said slowly, forcing the words out. Robert didn’t speak, and he was careful not to look at Aaron directly, in case he clammed shut. “Mostly about you.”

“Oh?” Robert asked, desperate to know more. He had privately wondered when his name would come up in Aaron’s therapy sessions but hadn’t had the courage to ask.

“I knew it anyway, but today… made me realise that without you I seriously would have struggled to cope. With it all. I was falling apart.”

“I know you were,” Robert said, remembering using those exact words to Chas.

“Thanks,” Aaron said. “For sticking by me through it all.”

“I wouldn’t have done anything else,” Robert said.

“You could have walked away,” Aaron said with a shrug. “You could have… not believed me.”

“Aaron,” Robert said calmly, cutting him off and turning to face him. “I couldn't leave you in that kind of pain alone. The goal wasn’t to get you back.” Aaron raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I mean, yeah, I wanted you, I’m not going to lie,” Robert said, grinning in a typically Robert way. “But if you’d never given me another chance, I’d still have been there for you. You needed someone to listen.”

“Yeah, I did,” Aaron said.

“And if I’d found it easy to walk away from you, I’d never have kissed you in the first place.” Aaron smiled at the memory. Odd. How many times in the last eighteen months he’d wished he’d never kissed Robert in that lay by. Never fallen for him in the first place, to save himself from the pain Robert had caused him. But now he wouldn’t change it. “What else was said about me?”

“Mostly how arrogant and annoying you are,” Aaron said, grinning at him. Robert rolled his eyes. “I hate to admit it, but you were right.”

“Obviously,” Robert said confidently. “About what?”

“Talking to someone helps,” Aaron said.

“What other revelations have you come to?” Robert asked curiously. It wasn’t often that he caught Aaron in a sharing mood so he wanted to make the most of it.

“I’ve been holding back with you,” Aaron said.

“Have you?” Robert asked, genuinely surprised. That he hadn’t expected.

“It’s like… I’m expecting you to hurt me again. And I don’t want that, so I don’t talk to you and…”

“Bottle it all up,” Robert finished. “Yeah, I’d noticed that.”

“I don’t want to shut you out,” Aaron said. “I’m just scared.”

“I’m not going to hurt you, Aaron,” Robert said. “I’ll not promise not to be a total idiot at times, but not like last year. Not again. And I won’t cheat on you.”

“I know that,” Aaron said. “I love you.”

The words were so casually spoken that it took Robert a second or two to actually register it. When he did, he turned to look at Aaron in shock, grabbing his arm to stop him from moving.

“You took your time.”

“Robert…”

“Sorry, that was…” he didn’t finish his sentence. Aaron kissed him lightly. In public. The most chaste kiss they’d probably ever shared, but to Robert it felt wonderful. Like Aaron was able to admit they were together, a proper couple, not caring what anyone else thought. Though Robert had been the one hiding, Aaron made it clear that getting intimate in public wasn’t his thing. Now that seemed to be changing. Robert leaned in again for another kiss, the first hadn’t been enough. He never seemed to be able to get enough of Aaron.

“Why say it now?” Robert asked, voice a little weak.

“I’ve wanted to,” Aaron said. “Sometimes I feel like you’re going to walk out on me, and… I don’t know.” Aaron kissed him again.

“I love you too,” Robert said, smiling at him in that way that Robert had, it always made Aaron‘s breath catch. He couldn’t resist leaning in for yet another kiss. Things were good, and for the first time he had the belief deep in his soul that Robert wasn’t using him, and Robert meant it when he said he wanted to be with Aaron. It had taken some time, for Aaron to believe he was enough for Robert, but he finally seemed to be getting there.

“You had lunch?” Robert asked. Aaron shook his head briefly. “Come on.” Aaron let him briefly put his hand on the base of his back, enjoying the warm feeling from his boyfriend's claiming hand on him. 

 


End file.
